Friends, Flatmates & First Year: Dear Agony Aunt...
Dear Agony Aunt, at the start of the year I was really fond of this boy and I thought he felt the same way - but now he's getting with one of my flat-mates. I don't know what to do because he's around all the time. I still feel like we get on really well, but I can't seem to accept the fact that nothing will ever happen because I'm always hoping he'll realise that I'm better for him than she is. Do you think I should say something? Or should I just get on with it?
Sad single gal
Oh my darling girl. Pour yourself a nice glass of the cheapest supermarket wine possible and listen to me very carefully as I say this firmly but with love. Our Lord and saviour Cher once eloquently said that a man is like dessert, nice to have but not a necessity. Do you think Cleopatra had the triumvirate of Rome wrapped around her little finger for you to be crying in da club over this boy? Did Amelia Earhart fly herself over the seven seas for a man? Nuh uh. Sadly single? YOU’RE IN THE PRIME OF YOUR LIFE! Leave your flat mate and the boy to themselves, tell your friends you love them and focus on bigger and brighter ambitions. It’s our first year of college, I can say with absolute certainty there will be plenty of other chances for romance around every possible avenue.
Alternatively, down a bottle of Nikita, go to Coppers and shift anything that moves! Both valid responses, both guaranteed to ease your wee heart.
Hey Agony Aunt, I feel like I don’t have any real friends in college, and all my friends from back home are making new friends at their colleges!
I know it's really daunting coming into this side of the year and feeling the pressure to have your friendships set in stone but, honestly that's not the reality. Most go into this term with less certainty than they did the first.
Throwing yourself into societies can really help, so check out the upcoming events of a society that’s sparked your interest. I know that it can be difficult to go to a society event for the first time, especially on your own, but try planning it into your week. Set aside time to attend it. If you're chatting to people in your course or apartment, tell them you're going, see if they want to come along. If not, it's no biggie. But, what does help is actually telling people you're going. It confirms it in your head so it's difficult for you to talk yourself out of it last minute. And when you're there, it's not about being the life of the party. In first year, there is no need for the pretence of knowing what you're at. No one here has a clue what they're doing so if you're looking for something to bond over, that always works a treat! Also, your three golden questions are; Name? Course? Place they're from?
Don't put pressure on yourself to have friends like the ones at home yet, keep in mind how long you've known them compared to the ones you have or will make here. Don't forget that those friends at home will always be there for you, that doesn't change. Give yourself and others time, hit Refreshers like it's September again and remember that your friends will love you like they always have, even if you don't see them as often. I can make you a personal vow that you're going to meet so many crazy, amazing people over the course of the next few years here, so don't worry if you haven't met them yet, in time you will.